How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
