they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
