champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
