Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
