Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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