Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
