i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize