I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my vag is so smooth its legendary
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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