no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize