Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
and you fell through a lawn chair
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
