Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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