Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize