I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
