did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
