my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
