They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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