That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
