fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
