she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You made out with two different species that night
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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