Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
