How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
