Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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