I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
