Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
