problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
