Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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