is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
