There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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