It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
