So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
