just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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