we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
