Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
