I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize