i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
