What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
