Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
