When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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