I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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