i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Even my vagina gasped.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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