Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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