i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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