You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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