I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
