I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
