you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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