butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
