I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
