i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
