How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
