Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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