I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
