Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
