Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
