stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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