bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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