Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
