so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
