I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize