Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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