been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
