Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
